As a little girl growing up you imagine your life as a wife and a mother in your perfect home with your perfect husband and your 2.5 children. You dream about your Disney Fairytale and all the possibilities. What those dreams and fairytales don't prepare you for is the fact that we live in a broken world and many times have to trek through murky waters that God never intended for this world. He never planned for broken marriages, children separated from their parents and families torn apart. A Stepparent is not something God intended for. It is a role that was never meant to be.
All of a sudden you are expected to turn on maternal or paternal instincts at a drop of a hat and love this child like your own. When it doesn't come naturally you are looked down upon and judged for not having the skills or being selfish because you hesitate. That is just downright unfair.
I am blessed to have found a man who loves me, leads me and believes in me. He is an amazing man who loves God more than anything. He has had to walk through some heavy storms but has come out on the other side more in love with God than ever before. At the age of 26 he was divorced and had a 2 year old daughter who lived 800 miles away. Talk about living in a situation that God never intended for. No one should be asked to walk through that storm and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. His daughter is 6 now and came to visit him for two weeks. I have met her once before but this was going to be a whole new experience. I have to admit I didn't go into the two weeks with a perfect attitude, all I could think was "I am literally not going to have one moment alone with my boyfriend." Selfish? yes, and that was something I had to pray about and work through.
I am now on the other side of the two weeks and I have to say it went very well but what most people didn't see was the internal struggle I was dealing with everyday. I would go from having amazing connections to lack of patience. Some days were flawless and some days I just wanted to be a 25 year old women with no parental responsibilities.
Every time there was a moment that wasn't done perfectly I felt like a failure. The only
I finally took some time and talked with my mom and step dad and learned that it is okay to not have immediate maternal love and feelings towards this little girl. That I can't be expected to turn it on over night. Being a step parent wasn't in God's plan for his children. There isn't anything in the Bible on step parenting. But there are lessons about love, patience, kindness and sacrifice. Learning to be a parent to a child that isn't your own is harder than it looks but it is also very rewarding when they look up to you with their precious faces and tell you how much they love you and that you are going to be their "step mommy" one day. These past two weeks have been a learning experience and incredibly rewarding. I am glad I struggled because it gave me a new appreciation for my Step Dad. I now realize how hard it is to find your place in a preexisting family. I honestly couldn't have gone though this life lesson with out my boyfriend. He cheered me on and encouraged me from day one. He constantly reminded me that I was doing a great job and that we all struggle and make mistakes but at the end of the day our children still love us. I love you Adaley Elisabeth and I can't wait to be your Step Mommy one day!
